This is the truth that catches most guys out on their way down that slide.

The things keeping you stuck aren't weakness or failings,  but they might be making things worse.  
Their job was to protect you.

Old strategies that kicked in for a reason — shutting down, getting short with people, throwing yourself into work, going quiet, numbing out.

 At some point, every one of them made sense. They kept you safe.
Stopped the noise and the pain from becoming too much.


Problem is, the same stuff that protected you then is usually the same stuff doing the damage now. 

The shutting down is now the reason your partner feels shut out.
 
The "I'll just handle it myself" that got you through tough times is now the reason
you're exhausted and alone with it.

At Be The Change we've got a name for these — we call them the Cavemen. 
Not a diagnosis, not a label to carry around. 
Just plain language for the old, instinctual parts of you that show up when things get heavy — so you can actually see them, instead of just being run by them.
It's not about blame or shame and certainly not about beating ourselves up about our mistakes, but taking action and and responsibility for things to be different.

But once you can see which ones are running the show, you've got a choice you didn't have before. You can learn to tame them, thank them for their work but let them know they're not needed, 

That's most of the work, right there.